"I've got a mole on my willy, can you remove it please?"
So the chap pulls his trousers and pants down, and the doc says,
"Yes sir, I can remove that mole... but I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you to the RSPCA."
So the chap pulls his trousers and pants down, and the doc says,
"Yes sir, I can remove that mole... but I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you to the RSPCA."
The Ultrasound guy.
before I was going on annual leave. My bleep goes off. Displaying my own bleep numer as the ring back number... I never did get back to them!
Hello Doctor. The lady in Bed 5 on the Parvolex infusion has a temperature of 38.5 - I've just give her some paracetamol, can you come and sign for it?
Midwife: Urm, just to let you know" Baby Smith has a blood sugar of 1.9
Me: Oh dear, I presume you've fed the baby, so I'll come and review...
Madwife: Well we haven't fed the baby.... its having some skin-to-skin at the moment....
Me (in my head): Oh great, so now its hypoglycaemic AND probably hypothermic,.....
.... drives me mad....
Me: Oh dear, I presume you've fed the baby, so I'll come and review...
Madwife: Well we haven't fed the baby.... its having some skin-to-skin at the moment....
Me (in my head): Oh great, so now its hypoglycaemic AND probably hypothermic,.....
.... drives me mad....
Me: Hi, it's the Orthopaedic house officer
Nurse: Hi, I'm down in pre-op seeing a patient. I need an echo formed signed for one of my patients.
Me: Oh, why?
Nurse: Well I listened to his heart and I think he's got an ejaculation systolic murmur.
I just couldn't say no to that, now could I? God know what she did to the bloke to pick up that sign.
Nurse: Hi, I'm down in pre-op seeing a patient. I need an echo formed signed for one of my patients.
Me: Oh, why?
Nurse: Well I listened to his heart and I think he's got an ejaculation systolic murmur.
I just couldn't say no to that, now could I? God know what she did to the bloke to pick up that sign.
Me: Hello, on-call pharmacist here.
Nurse: Oh hi, is your bleep working?
Me: No, tonight the amazing Psychic Pharmacist is on call!
Nurse: Oh hi, is your bleep working?
Me: No, tonight the amazing Psychic Pharmacist is on call!