"Hi, did you bleep the house officer?"
"Yes, I've got a patient on the ward who you need to come and see".
"OK, what seems to be the problem?"
"He's not been able to pass urine since he came back from theatre two hours ago"
"What operation has he had?"
"Hernia I think. There's another thing too"
"Yes?"
"He thinks that his penis looks smaller than it did this morning"
"Yes, I've got a patient on the ward who you need to come and see".
"OK, what seems to be the problem?"
"He's not been able to pass urine since he came back from theatre two hours ago"
"What operation has he had?"
"Hernia I think. There's another thing too"
"Yes?"
"He thinks that his penis looks smaller than it did this morning"
My favourite bleep was as an F1 at 4am regarding a post-op ortho patient - "Dr, Mr x is in a lot of pain"
"Oh ok, what is the patient written up for?"
"Paracetamol, diclofenac, morphine"
"Gosh, well what have they had so far?"
"Nothing, I thought I should ask you first."
"Oh ok, what is the patient written up for?"
"Paracetamol, diclofenac, morphine"
"Gosh, well what have they had so far?"
"Nothing, I thought I should ask you first."
to ask whether we will be seeing a patient on the ward round. The answer is yes, and I've just missed what my Consultant said because I had to answer the phone to tell you that.'
I got bleeped at 4am by a nurse who said the following:
"Excuse me doctor, but I have a patient who has got head lice, and we can't find the shampoo...."
I didn't hear the rest because I put the phone down.
"Excuse me doctor, but I have a patient who has got head lice, and we can't find the shampoo...."
I didn't hear the rest because I put the phone down.
Nurse: Sorry to wake you... you've prescribed fluids for a post-op patient if the urine output falls under 30
Me: Yep
Nurse: The urine output is under 30, shall I give them?
For the love of god
Me: Yep
Nurse: The urine output is under 30, shall I give them?
For the love of god
Unfortunately this happened to a colleague of mine years ago as a trauma sho in oxford.....bleep at 3am....phone back.....hiya, this is staff nurse, just teaching my student how to bleep someone! This is the bad old days of 48 hours weekends!!
I was bleeped at 3am the other night to come and prescribe sleeping tablets for someone who was apparently having trouble getting to sleep.
I trudged off to the ward, and found the patient, who was awake.
"I hear you can't sleep" I said.
"Well, no" he replied, "I was fast asleep when the nurse woke me up to find out if I needed any sleeping tablets to help me sleep, but now I can't back to sleep"
I trudged off to the ward, and found the patient, who was awake.
"I hear you can't sleep" I said.
"Well, no" he replied, "I was fast asleep when the nurse woke me up to find out if I needed any sleeping tablets to help me sleep, but now I can't back to sleep"
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