That'll sort out his depression
One - but it takes 8 billion years
None - but they can try and shrink it....
None - it's just bulb failure, give it frusemide
NIGHT 1
Nurse: Hi, I was just wanting some advice regarding a patient.
Me: Fire away
Nurse: We have this patient Mr X he was reviewed this evening following a nasty fall when he banged his head and since then he has been on neuro obs.
Me: Uh-huh?
Nurse: We were told to monitor his GCS but he has dementia and is being quite "vocal" at the moment and we were wondering if it would be OK to give him his normal sedation?
Me: No (explains reason)
Nurse : Could you come and document that in the notes when you come to dose those warfarins for us?
Night 2
Nurse (same nurse): Mr X (same pt) has had a fall and banged his head again, there's a lump on the back of his head but he seems OK.
Me: If he's banged his head, he needs to go back on neuro obs. I'm busy with a sick patient right now so could you please start them and I'll come and see him when I'm finished here.
Nurse: I know you're busy but if you could not leave it too long because he has been a bit noisy and restless
Nurse: Hi, I was just wanting some advice regarding a patient.
Me: Fire away
Nurse: We have this patient Mr X he was reviewed this evening following a nasty fall when he banged his head and since then he has been on neuro obs.
Me: Uh-huh?
Nurse: We were told to monitor his GCS but he has dementia and is being quite "vocal" at the moment and we were wondering if it would be OK to give him his normal sedation?
Me: No (explains reason)
Nurse : Could you come and document that in the notes when you come to dose those warfarins for us?
Night 2
Nurse (same nurse): Mr X (same pt) has had a fall and banged his head again, there's a lump on the back of his head but he seems OK.
Me: If he's banged his head, he needs to go back on neuro obs. I'm busy with a sick patient right now so could you please start them and I'll come and see him when I'm finished here.
Nurse: I know you're busy but if you could not leave it too long because he has been a bit noisy and restless
worked flat out from 8pm to 7.30am without even going to the loo..
Me: Im just going to get a quick drink and sit down for 5 mins, call me if anything is urgent only please...
2 mins later into my lovely piece of toast; *bleep, bleep*
N: Doctor, can you please review this urgent Trop T ASAP it is less than 0.01
Me: Ummm, no.
N: But its an urgent Trop T!!!
Me: Yes and its NEGATIVE, consider it reviewed...
Did she want me to wake the patient up and give them a round of applause for not having an MI?
Me: Im just going to get a quick drink and sit down for 5 mins, call me if anything is urgent only please...
2 mins later into my lovely piece of toast; *bleep, bleep*
N: Doctor, can you please review this urgent Trop T ASAP it is less than 0.01
Me: Ummm, no.
N: But its an urgent Trop T!!!
Me: Yes and its NEGATIVE, consider it reviewed...
Did she want me to wake the patient up and give them a round of applause for not having an MI?
3am trying to get a lie down for an hour after being busy at deliveries/on postnates ward before starting interminable blood round..
student nurse pages
"can you come and look at baby x's rash please?" 5 mins after I'd just popped my head into NICU to see if they needed anything.....
"was it not there 5 mins ago?"
"er no, can you please come and look?" ..wearily get up as she sounds concerned
turn light on and peer into baby x's cot
"Erm, I can't see any rash - do I need to take the nappy off?"
student nurse looks confused:
"but the rash was there when the light was OFF!!!"
student nurse pages
"can you come and look at baby x's rash please?" 5 mins after I'd just popped my head into NICU to see if they needed anything.....
"was it not there 5 mins ago?"
"er no, can you please come and look?" ..wearily get up as she sounds concerned
turn light on and peer into baby x's cot
"Erm, I can't see any rash - do I need to take the nappy off?"
student nurse looks confused:
"but the rash was there when the light was OFF!!!"